Hello

wow. the weeks fly by. I can't believe it's another one. seriously! if I had a dollar for every time I said that though...a broken record. maybe I'm getting old. that's why I repeat myself. or it's the sun. whatever it is, it's certainly not my fault. :)
so this week! it has been a whirlwind. but if I may include a slight guilty pleasure right up front, yesterday we were on the bus coming back from Dongonggon after a very long and hot day, and the bus ride is usually about an hour. no air conditioning. plus it was raining, so no one would open their windows. very stuffy. we were soooooo tired. anyway, I was just sitting there chatting up the boy next to me, when guess what comes on the radio?? nonstop EARTH WIND AND FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!! woowee!!!!!! the fact that I didn't stand up and dance down the aisle (despite every powerful urge inside of me!) is proof that I'm changing and learning to be more appropriate. you know, bridle your passion kind of thing? anyway. I did tap my foot for a few of the songs and then the boy and I started singing (quietly!) together. hahaha. it was rad. 
also a quick little funny story. so, you know that stage you get in right after you fall asleep? it's a weird state. anyway, I was in that state a few nights ago, and hite hadn't gone to bed quite yet. anyway, what follows is quite funny. she told me the next morning with tears in her eyes. so apparently she comes in, I'm asleep, and puts her blanket on my foot. when I go, "is someone sitting on my foot?" so she goes, "no, sorry, just my blanket." and then I go, "oh okay. at first I thought it was a bird, but then I remembered missionary work isn't done through birds." and then she starts laughing I guess, and is like, "are you awake??" and I go, "hey don't laugh! I felt his claws on my foot!!!" and then she diiiiieeeesssssss laughing and eventually I wake up to her laughing hysterically, so I start laughing hysterically although I didn't really know why, and then the next morning she was still laughing trying to tell me the story. anyway. that was a pointless and completely unspiritual story, but I liked it because it's ridiculous. and sometimes its the best thing you can do to just hold on and remember the ridiculously stupid and hilarious moments. 
so here is a real doozy of an experience. I'm still a bit devastated, although I'm trying to pull it together. so sunday night we had plans to do family night with some people that lived in kepayan. we were late getting there and it was so stressful and it started raining and finally when we got there, they told us they were sorry but couldn't do it anymore. so we started walking all the way back, when david (a member who always helps us) said he wanted to go visit some people who also lived in kepayan and asked if we wanted to go. we were both dead tired and hadn't eaten all day long, so we said we just didn't feel like it and wanted to go cook something really fast. so we start walking back when we pass by this man that goes, "are you from a church?" we say yes, start talking, and he just starts spilling about his life. he had tried to kill himself twice in the last week because so many awful things were happening to him. and he said he didn't know why he hadn't died both times he tried, but he thought maybe because God wasn't ready for him to go yet. he said he had been praying for miracles. anyway we meet him, talk a bit about the plan of salvation and ask if there is anything we can do. he said he was living at the catholic church and couldn't do anything yet, but he'd call us. anyway, we go home and I just sat on the floor of my shower fully clothed with the water running. that's the remedy for a truly awful experience. I was aching inside my heart because I hadn't known what to do or what to say or anything and I kept thinking that if he killed himself that night it would be on me. I was having a hard time. never prayed harder than that night for him and for a chance to help him see that he still has a purpose and that life is still good. anyway I fall asleep, and we woke up the next morning to a text from him. he said he read the pamphlet, has some questions, and would like to meet. we planned sooooo hard for the lesson with him, scriptures after scriptures, idea after idea, we were both freaking out. we called our zone leaders and asked him for advice and he helped a bit and then said something like, "this is really cool. you could have a chance to literally save a life." so we meet him and sit down and he immediately starts talking when he tells us about a dream. he goes, "for the first time in months I slept all night last night. very peaceful sleep. and I had a dream of this girl, this white girl, named jensen. and she gave me a paint brush. and I don't know why, but after that everything was light and bliss." and I'm just standing there, stunned, and go, "my name is sister jensen." so he's like "wow....really? that's weird!" and then immediately starts talking again. talking about how miserable his life is, how all he wants are friends, he needs a miracle but God isn't showing him any miracles, blah blah blah. finally after an hour and a half of him talking and not letting us say anything, he stands up to go and says he is gonna kill himself that night. the whole time during that lesson I had no words coming to my mind, but when he stood up and said that I suddenly couldn't hold it back and I yelled at him STOP! and then I tell him that there are miracles all around him! the fact that our appointment was cancelled and for whatever reason we didn't go with david to the other place, so we walked past him was a miracle. and that maybe his dream was another miracle. I told him how else would he have had a dream about a white girl named jensen, when he didn't know that that was my name? I had only told him sister when we met. so I said "you had a dream about me, and I gave you a paintbrush. and I was like, I love to paint! and to make art and to make something beautiful, you need a paintbrush." (this sounds lame repeating this but these words were just coming out of my mouth) so I go, "we have a message for you. and if you will give it a chance, I promise you it will change your life. and it will be a paintbrush for you, with this message about Jesus Christ and His Atonement, it will help you paint a better life for yourself." and he like froze and had goosebumps. and he was like, "whoa. I don't even know what to say." so the day goes on and we walk him to the fruit market because he wanted to go there, and he keeps saying how much light we have and how much different he feels around us. blah blah. it was a nice afternoon and he was smiling and laughing and having fun. he said he'd read the book and get back to us. so later that night we get a text, something like this: "I've thought about it and I don't need God. He doesn't care about me because He isn't helping me. there are no miracles. I don't want Him. I need friends and that's all, but maybe I'll just try to kill myself again." and we both were devastated all over again. we didn't even know what to say. we prayed about it and prayed about it and all we could feel was just that we had tried. we had tried and prepared and planned and done everything we could even think of. but we cant make people see the light. or see the miracles around them. its been a day and we haven't heard from him, so we have no idea what is going on. it is hard. but it helped me look at the plan of salvation in a completely different light. people always say we live through Christ. right? I never really thought what that even means. living through Christ. but literally, He died and was resurrected so we can die and be resurrected. if we look to Him and follow Him, we have eternal life. without Christ, it would end after we died. it would end because we would still be sinful unresurrected beings buried in the ground. but through Jesus Christ, we live. and thinking about that man who wanted to kill himself so badly, I realized just how real the plan of salvation could have been to him. if he would have realized that if he just hung on and clung to Jesus Christ, he would live. we tried our hardest. 
aside from that very emotional and dramatic experience, the week was very nice. we are SO busy. so freaking busy. it's so great always having to move a thousand miles and hour so we can get everywhere we need to be, and it makes the days fly by. but I literally have never been this physically and mentally and spiritually tired in my whole life. hahaha. we were teaching crystal and darien, angels brother and sister (they have a baptism date on the 15 of october!!!) and right before the taxi came I layed on the floor and my whole body was convulsing haha. josie comes over and is like, "sister, you're too tired. you're worthless now. look, you can't even hold still! you're worthless!" haha. brat. but really, it is so beautiful being this busy. such a blessing. the work is picking up and miracles are happening in KK right now and it is golden. 
hite only has a week and a half left. I think she's having a hard time haha. poor girl. it's weird to think one day I will be in her shoes as well. 
times on its way out, but I love you all. I hope this week is gold:)